My comment/remark of the day...

"Deadset man, do you think your word hole is the only one I have to feed in a day!?!?!"

Egad, parenthood is bringing me undone.

I'm so predictable

I knew it, I just knew it. The other reason I've never started a blog is because of all the things I mentioned last time. I have the attention span of a two year old and just can't commit! It hurts me to sit still for over ninety seconds at a time and as pathetic as that is, I just don't care!!! it's a shame though because I have such insight, I have so much to share. :P Maybe I should try meditation but that too would involve sitting still - arrrgggghhh! Valium should do nicely. Now to find a doctor that might prescribe solely for the purpose of blogging...

Here we go...

So after much persuasion courtesy of my better half, I have decided to contribute to the masses of bullshit on the www and start a blog - start being the operative word. For those of you not aware, I never, ever finish anything; I am a deadset quitter and as idle as a sack of shit. Fathership has labelled me Homer Simpson and I am not inclined to argue in any tremendous hurry.

My blogging career might have begun sooner but as a sufferer of OCD I figured that unless I had started wayyy back at the beginning of my life, nobody would ever really know the full story of me - kind of like if I were to start collecting, for example, stamps, there would be 32 years of wasted stamps that I could have collected but didn't (if you know what I mean!) That right there is the nutty sort of shit that races around this rattling skull of mine so be warned!

I was once called "The Shit Magnet" 'cause oddly weird shit always happens to me - all the time I should add. I've had friends confess to having not believed my recollections before actually spending time with me and becoming a part of the experience that is my life. How hurt I was to discover that these plebs thought things such as me being whacked in the snatch with a blind man's cane while using an ATM could ever have been anything but gospel! Seriously, where do they get off???