What's doing with this sign?!?

Wandering today in a local shopping centre, I came across a cluster of tables plastered with this little beauty...

Since when were the non-smokers the ostracised?!?!


Must be where the cool kids sit.


Or perhaps a place where supermodels might choose to dine.

Can one die from extreme fatigue?

If so, you'd best get saving for flowers.

I must need glasses

because whenever I attempt to reply to something someone has blogged, that goddamned word verification thing pisses me around!!! I go through about three fucking lots of it before I just happen to fluke it right. At least use font I can read you arseholes - not something akin to frikken Webdings!!!

Ok, so I've not had a lot of sleep lately.

You know you have wealthy homies when...

Driving with Fathership today, we were discussing a friend of mine whom I've not spoken to in a while. I mentioned that the last time I saw him I'd not had the opportunity to chat at all and there was a chance he thought I'd given him the royal brush off. Fathership wanted to know if maybe I'd been in touch electronically - which I had already tried.

"He's not replied yet and that was about a fortnight ago." I said, thinking that indeed, I must be in the shit.

"Oh." says Fathership, all noncommittal.

So I say "Yep, I reckon he's cross with me... Either that or he's in Europe."

Silence in the car. I look at Fathership, he looks at me. We both laugh like dickheads at the reality of what I've just said.

He sure is a rich fucker, that one.

Daddies are super heroes

Remember that feeling you had as a child that your daddy could do anything - I mean anything?! He was the guy who had the magical powers to repair all things great and small and there was never a task beyond his capabilities.

At the moment H1 has a bit of a fascination with measuring tapes. His poppy, you see, has a double garage absolutely overflowing with delightful tools and gadgets and H1 would live in there if we allowed it. I'll admit to being tempted to say yes on occasion but regrettably, it's ever so dangerous. I've not enjoyed the measuring tape phase to be quite frank because, let's face it, they're nasty pieces of work. That razor sharp strip of metal snaps back into its housing at the speed of light and the potential for removing ears and dissecting eyeballs is much too great for my liking so...

I purchased a lovely little replica from Crazy Clark's. It does all the same stuff as the ones from Poppy's garage except accidental body modifications - which pleases me greatly. It's small and fits perfectly into my pocket just ready for an emergency diversion at the shops when H1 decides he'd love a family block of Cadbury or fifteen artificially coloured Chupa Chups. He wanders around the house with it, plucking the tape out and letting it go again and thinks he's just the duck's nuts (which he is, of course!) H1 loves his tape measure and as a result, so do I - it's also silent so just when you think things couldn't possibly get any better...

Anyway, I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, daddies, super heroes and all that. So H1 was bumbling about in his room this morning and finally reappeared with something in his hands. He walks over to Fathership, hands him his wares and says (ever so earnestly)...

"Fix, Daddy?" Gotta love the optimism.

Fathership's Quote of the Day:

"I'm really disillusioned with this whole breeding thing."

Self explanatory really.

Roll over Susie Homemaker...

'Cause I just fucking vacuumed!!! I cannot believe how hideously proud of myself I am - and how ashamed, disgusted and somewhat embarrassed I am that I feel so proud! All of a sudden my lounge area looks mammoth! I truly had no idea there was so much floor space.

Now for those of you playing at home, yes, I am predominantly a stay at home mum but with a rascally two year old and a 15 week old who has not yet learnt the art of sleeping, completing simple daily tasks has been taken to a new dimension - seriously, some of the food I have prepared in recent weeks would stand your hair on end. Hey, at least I am preparing meals right? I mean, the RSI in my index finger from chronic dinner dialling actually seems to have eased of late.

So where was I? Oh yes, the floors! Well they looked so damn fine that I just couldn't help myself; I dusted the entertainment unit - and not just with one of those fluffy dusting scenarios that merely moves the dust to a new place, no siree, I actually wiped it away with a cloth - sprayed with furniture polish!!! Oh Lordy, what a buzz! Who knew that thing was crafted from timber?!? :P

Right about now I am thanking my lucky stars I don't have flour and similar nonsense in the kitchen 'cause who knows the shit I might bake?! Marion Cunningham, eat your heart out! Okily dokes, have to run! I simply must get to the salon to have my hair set in preparation for the man of house's return. I have shirts to press and silverware to buff...

Actually, bugger all of that. A shower would be bliss.

PS. Baby Girl, if you're reading Mama's blog, today need not be the only day you experiment with napping. I would be just as happy to feel this elated, ohhhhhh, dare I say, once a week?!?!